Gives You Hell

Alright, as suspected by some of you, a few things have been bothering me lately and I guess this is as good time as any to lay it all out there.

How do you know who you can trust? And the inevitable question that aggravates (almost) everyone throughout high school... how do you know who your real friends are? A silly question. I mean, of course I know who my friends are... right? Or not. I've spent the past year feeling hurt and let down when I realize that a friend is not all they're spelt out to be. When what you see isn't what you get. When you are told one thing and it means something else entirely. When you put all your trust and faith in someone and it all goes to waste. The golden rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." But... what's the point when you receive nothing in return? When you're betrayed by people you think you can trust, you think you can depend on, time and time again? When someone is my friend, I do whatever I can to make sure they're happy. How do I know I'll receive the same in return? I care too much. I expect too much out of people, and it hurts. I don't lie, save the occasional "you look nice" shit when you actually don't. There's no front. What you see, you get. So why would anyone do it to me? How could anyone do it to me? So much for karma...

Sorry for the rant, but there's the tiny glimpse into the huge mess that I've conjured up with my overanalyzing, overthinking brain. I'm a foolish girl with mental issues.